Gay Religious and Poetic

My religion, is something I don’t really discuss, but I feel that it makes me a stronger person. Being gay, made me really conflicted spiritually for a long time, at least until I “came out”. Being from a Baptist family, I was afraid that my sexuality would tear me away from those I loved deepest. However, when I came out to my family, or was forced out, thanks big sister, I was met with mixed feelings, but mostly acceptance. I thought our religious views would have been the thing that separated me from my family, but my aunt washed away that fear when she spoke to me after I avoided here for weeks. “I heard some things about your sexuality, I know you have been avoiding me. I just want to let you know that it doesn’t change the way I feel about you or how God feels about you, he made us all the way we are and I love you all the same,” that was the last thing I expected to hear, but the one thing that made it easy for me. After coming to terms with who I am, I found my poetry and prayer were the easiest way for me to deal with my issues, death in the family, school, love, moving, you name it, I wrote about it.

This poem was written after the first poem that I posted on my blog. I was 18 years old, and my grandparents, the only real parents I ever knew were both gone. I was completely confused about how to move forward, and the drama within my family was so ridiculous I am sure we could have stolen awards from many TV dramas had we been televised. So after some prayer and thought, I left. I worked my butt off for a few months, saved some money, packed my bags, got on a plane and left. I didn’t feel at home in California anymore, so I moved clear across the country to Atlanta, Georgia and started over. I felt that by staying home I would only be hurting myself by holding on to my past when clearly so much had changed and was still changing, and not for the better. This is the poetic version of that story, please enjoy.

Find Something To Hold On To

After he lost what he felt was dearest, there were none closer to his heart; they had been nearest.
He looks in the mirror to see stressed eyes.
The kind that are glazed over, but never, let out cries.
Dad is gone, but his absence wasn’t by choice,
and mom is too stuck on the sound of her own voice.
He feels hollow empty and deprived of his soul,
He just lost a vital part of him a bond that made him whole.
“Life is full of ups and downs,” was so easy to say,
But no half-right sayings would appease him today.
The luster in his smile was replaced by a veil of grey,
Just as plainly obvious as his lack of words to say.
He went through the day expressing little emotion,
didn’t even flinch when his cousins made a commotion.
He didn’t care how he looked or even if he came off odd,
Because he was numb to the world, and deaf to all but God.
Weary from the struggle of the months that preceded,
He felt his sanity slipping, yet sanity is what he needed.
So he turned to the help, divine in the sky,
And prayed for the strength that would get him by.
It didn’t happen suddenly but, we know, “He’s right on time,”
So he retained his sanity and his life changed on a dime.
He gathered up his thoughts and his money too,
Worked every day, did what he had to do.
He changed his whole life with prayer and determination,
Used his money to, put himself in a new situation.
He lives much better now, happy with himself,
Keeping with the positive and downing no one else.
He may have lost something, that he will miss dearly,
But what he gained instead over shadows that severely.
He found strength to grow, and move on with his life.
Never once gave in to the pain that cut him like a knife.
So just remember we get one life, and someday all problems will be gone,
And when you have problems, cling to what keeps you holding on.

-Dom

Even though I find that I have some of the oddest combination of views and preferences, I embrace myself more and more each day. I become more honest and willing to share myself with the world, because I understand myself. I hope that all of you who read my blog and see my thoughts can do the same.

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Category : Gay Life, Poetic
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